Shaved my Head

Today has been an interesting day. I have been highly concidering some sort of legal action against my last therapists supivisor. I never thought I would concider such a thing but I am having a hell of a time finding a new therapist for little money and the supivisor had suggested Kaiser and groups. My psyciatrist at Kaiser says I need a individual therapist which I cannot get at Kaiser. now I am basiclly up a creek with no paddle. There is also a big money issue, but lets not even go there right now.

Not much Luck

I have been trying to find a therapist with absolutely no luck. What is it with therapists that they have to make 150 to 200 dollars an hour anyways? I need a therapist and i can't find one for the ammount of money I have to spend and I feel like I should sue the last therapists supivisor for mental angish and the such. Boy did she steer me in the wrong direction. She sent me to Kiaser and now I have no individual therapist at all. I can't get one without the medicare and medical I have because it costs to much sliding scale. I have outright had people say 50 dollars is way to low and I will never find a therapist who goes down that low. Well hello, my first therapist saw me for 5 dollars a session. What is wrong with these crazy people that they can't come down to 50 dollars. Maybe if a nice therapist reads this he or she can awnser my questions. I am trying to figure out what to do next. Do I give up Kaiser again which I was finally getting comfortable with, or do I look harder for a sliding scale therapist. What am I made of money? I get less than a thousand a month. I don't want to give up but hell, this doesn't make a bit of sense. As of now I am using my girlfriend as a therapist, which is horrible for our relationship and I can't figure out how to get myself out of this situation. On top of therapy, I want hormones and surguries that cost tons of money that frankly I don't have. Medicare doesn't cover any of this stuff, except maybe the hormones, but that is only if I am off of Kiaser. Well if anyone has any suggestions then please comment.

At a Speech Class

I spent tonight listening to people give speeches on why you should do this or that. Very interesting and a few very moving speeches. I also discovered that a room full of college students can still burst into laughter when they hear the word sex. Gezz like we all don't know what sex is right? It makes me wonder how people will react to my first speech when I am really in that class. It is going to be on me being transsexual. As if I wasn't anxious enough about coming out in front of college students, now sex is taboo. I wanted to tell the teacher I am transsexual tonight but we were in a hurry to get home to honey's migraine medication. I am trying to find something interesting about my being a transsexual to write about everyday but I am finding that very difficult to do. There is not a lack of interesting information about transsexuals but nothing is happening to me right now. I guess I can say I went to a website called Lyon Martin Health Clinic. I found it following a link from a UCSF GLBT help site. They are open everyday and cater to lesbians and transsexuals. I have not decided whether to drop my current medical insurance and find different insurance or continue with my current coverage and find a way to pay out of pocket for the huge expenses I am going to have to deal with getting hormones and paying for therapy. I am going to have to drop my current doctor anyways if I am going to be moving out of this county. Well I guess I will figure this all out as I go. Who knows what will happen.